This year has hit my self-esteem hard. I’ve let myself down so many times that it feels like everything I thought I knew about who I am has fallen apart. I’ve come to a tough realization—I’m not the person I hoped I’d be.
I’ve never been able to really like myself. The way I look, the way I speak, my intelligence, my lack of achievements, how I handle tough times—even my interests—they all feel like constant letdowns. Staying positive feels like a losing battle. I’ve been trying to look on the bright side for over a decade now, but I’m running out of hope.
Every time I find even a small thing to feel proud of or confident about, it doesn’t last. Life always seems to find a way to knock it down, leaving me feeling worse than before. It’s like a cruel reminder of how far I think I’ve fallen short.
I don’t mean to dump all this out, but sometimes it feels like there’s nothing anyone can say or do to change it.
My Advice
First off, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, and that’s incredibly hard. I want to remind you that even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you’re not alone, and there is a way through this.
When you’ve spent years feeling disappointed in yourself, it’s easy to think that’s just who you are—but it’s not. The way you see yourself isn’t the whole truth; it’s just the story your mind has been telling you, shaped by tough experiences and self-doubt. That story can change, even if it feels impossible right now.
Start small. I mean really small. You don’t have to love yourself today or even like yourself tomorrow. Instead, try focusing on one neutral thing you can do:
- Treat yourself with the same basic kindness you’d offer a stranger. That might mean eating a decent meal, going for a short walk, or just allowing yourself to rest without judgment.
- Write down one thing you did today, no matter how “small” it seems. Maybe you got out of bed, sent a text, or even read this message. Those things count.
It’s okay to feel like you’re running thin on optimism. You don’t have to fake positivity when it’s not there. Instead, focus on being honest with yourself: “Today was tough, but I’m still here.” That’s enough.
Lastly, if you haven’t already, consider talking to someone who can help—a therapist or counselor. They can help you unpack these feelings and rebuild a sense of self that isn’t weighed down by constant criticism. It’s not about “fixing” you because you’re not broken; it’s about helping you see the good that’s been hidden by all the hurt.
You’re worthy of the same compassion and care you give others, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Keep going. One step at a time.
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