Growing up, people made such harsh comments about bodies like mine. They’d talk about hairy, bald men like we were something to be ashamed of—like being that way made you a bad person, pathetic, or even unlovable. It was like they thought it was some kind of curse. I can’t imagine tearing someone down like that now. It’s just hair.
The thing is, I am one of those men. I’m bald, hairy, and chubby. And honestly, I feel like people my age still see me the way I feared they would back then. I do my best to cover up and avoid drawing attention to myself. Just yesterday, a friend offered to put sunscreen on my neck and arms, and I immediately said no. I told them, “You don’t want to—I’m super hairy.”
When I think about the future, I wonder: do people lower their standards, or do they just stop caring as much? Are there really people out there who would see my body as beautiful? Or do people brush me off because I don’t fit into what’s considered “attractive”?
More than anything, I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin—to feel loved for who I am, not loved despite how I look. I always thought I’d outgrow these insecurities, but honestly? I haven’t.
My Advice
Feeling good in your own skin takes time, especially when the world has been harsh about the way you look. First, recognize that those old messages you grew up hearing were never about you—they were about society’s shallow standards. They don’t define you.
Start by being kinder to yourself. It’s okay to feel insecure, but remind yourself daily that your body isn’t something to apologize for. Practice speaking to yourself like you would to a friend—would you let someone you care about believe they’re unworthy because of their appearance? You deserve that same kindness.
Surround yourself with people who value you for who you are, not how you look. If your friend offered to put sunscreen on you, it means they care, not that they’re judging you. Let them show that care—it might help you feel more at ease in your body.
When it comes to how others see you, remember this: beauty isn’t a fixed standard. People are drawn to confidence, kindness, and how you make them feel, not just how you look. It’s okay to wonder if someone finds you attractive, but don’t let that define your self-worth.
Most importantly, allow yourself to take small steps toward acceptance. Wear what makes you comfortable, let people in, and slowly challenge the idea that you need to hide. You’re not here to fit into someone else’s box—you’re here to live as fully and authentically as you can.
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