I’ve seen so many posts about people dealing with daily, crushing depression that makes even the smallest tasks, like taking a shower, feel impossible. For me, though, it’s a bit different, and I think it’s important to talk about this side too because it’s just as painful in its own way.
On the surface, I probably seem like someone who has it all together. I have a steady job, and I show up every day trying my best—not just to get the work done but to be friendly and even bring some humor to the day. My coworkers seem to like me, and some even look up to me. If you met me, you wouldn’t guess I’m struggling.
But when I get home, it’s like the mask comes off. I sink into these waves of overwhelming sadness. I overthink everything, replaying every awkward or dumb thing I might have said or done, tearing myself apart for it. No matter what I accomplish, I don’t feel proud—I can’t shake this belief that I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve the kindness or admiration people show me.
And yet, every day, I get up and do it all again. I keep up this act like I’m fine, but inside, it feels like I’m living two completely separate lives, and the gap between them is exhausting. It’s a cycle I don’t know how to break.
My Advice
Here’s some advice that might help you navigate this tough situation:
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Start With Self-Compassion
It’s easy to be hard on yourself, but try to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d give a close friend. When those negative thoughts creep in, ask yourself if you’d say those things to someone you care about. Probably not, right? You deserve that same care and understanding. -
Talk to Someone You Trust
Keeping everything bottled up can make it feel heavier. Consider opening up to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Sometimes just saying things out loud can help you see them in a new light and feel less alone in the struggle. -
Challenge Negative Thoughts
When you catch yourself over-analyzing or putting yourself down, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Often, the things we beat ourselves up over are way more minor than we think, and others don’t notice them nearly as much as we do. -
Celebrate Small Wins
Even if it feels weird or forced at first, take a moment to recognize something good you did each day. It could be as small as showing up to work or making someone smile. These little moments matter more than you realize. -
Prioritize Self-Care
It’s easy to pour all your energy into work or maintaining appearances, but don’t forget to refill your own cup. Set aside time for things that make you feel good, whether it’s a hobby, a walk outside, or just relaxing with a favorite show. -
Seek Professional Help
There’s no shame in talking to a therapist or counselor, especially when it feels like you’re stuck in a cycle. A mental health professional can help you work through these feelings and give you tools to manage them better.
Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. You’re showing incredible strength by keeping it together, but you deserve support and healing, too.
Thank you for reading! If this post helped you, share it to help others too!